It Didn't Start with You How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

This book offers readers an intriguing introduction to the concepts of intergenerational trauma and epigenetics, with several reviewers finding the initial explanations of these scientific areas to be solid and thought-provoking. Many appreciated the book’s emphasis on self-reflection, noting that the questions provided for exploring family history were valuable for gaining personal insight and understanding inherited patterns. Some readers found the core ideas, such as identifying a "core sentence" related to one's fears or challenges, to be genuinely helpful in reframing personal narratives and fostering resilience. For those open to unconventional approaches, the book provided a fresh perspective on long-standing issues and encouraged a deeper reflection on one's struggles in the context of ancestral experiences.

However, the book draws significant criticism, particularly from mental health professionals, for what many describe as a lack of scientific rigor and a reliance on pseudoscience. A major point of contention is the author's strong emphasis on reconciling with parents, even in cases of severe abuse or neglect, which many reviewers found to be dangerous, toxic, and dismissive of the victim's experience. Critics also highlighted the author's perceived minimization of abuse, suggesting he absolves abusers by framing their actions as inherited trauma. The book is accused of promoting a "magic cure" mentality, with many finding the claims of spontaneous healing for complex mental health conditions unrealistic and potentially harmful. Additionally, some reviewers criticized the repetitive writing style, the disorganization of case studies which often felt cherry-picked and unbelievable, and the author's apparent dismissal of traditional medical and psychological treatments. Concerns were also raised about the author's qualifications, with some noting his graduate background is not in psychology or social work.

Ultimately, this book proves to be highly polarizing. Readers who are open to alternative perspectives on healing, interested in exploring their family's historical patterns, and able to approach the content with a critical eye may find some value in its self-reflection exercises. However, individuals seeking evidence-based psychological insights, those who have experienced severe abuse, or mental health professionals are likely to find the book's methodologies and recommendations problematic and potentially irresponsible. It is best suited for readers who can discern between potentially inspiring self-reflection and unsubstantiated therapeutic claims, particularly regarding complex trauma and family reconciliation.