Positives Many readers found this book to be a profoundly impactful and life-changing read, offering a fresh and deeper perspective on Attention Deficit Disorder. Reviewers praised its ability to reframe ADD, often suggesting it stems from developmental trauma, misalignment, or an "Attunement Deficit Disorder," rather than purely biological factors. The author's personal experience with ADD, as well as his children's, is highlighted as lending sensitivity and understanding to his exploration of the topic. Readers appreciated the introduction of concepts like "counter will" and "unconditional positive resolve," which provided insight into self-understanding and healing. For many, the book fostered a sense of being understood and validated, offering hope and inspiration for individuals with ADD and providing parents with new ways to promote healthy mental well-being in their children, fostering a more compassionate approach to parenting. It is seen by some as a valuable resource for mental health professionals, parents, and anyone curious about the neurobiology of attachment.
Negatives Conversely, a significant portion of readers expressed strong criticism and disappointment, finding the book highly controversial and, at times, infuriating. The most prominent negative feedback centers on the author's perceived downplaying of genetic factors in ADHD, instead heavily emphasizing that the condition primarily results from parental failures, poor attachment, or environmental stressors and trauma. Critics argue that the book lacks sufficient scientific referencing, relying too much on anecdotal evidence and personal assertions, leading to accusations of spreading disinformation and outdated theories. Many parents, particularly mothers, felt blamed and burdened by the book's premise, which they found insulting and unscientific. Reviewers also noted inconsistencies in the author's arguments, a lack of practical advice beyond platitudes, and the presentation of unproven hypotheses as established facts, making it difficult for some to relate their own or their children's experiences to the theories presented.
Conclusion Ultimately, this book is highly polarizing within the neurodivergent community and beyond. It resonates deeply with readers who are open to a more holistic, psychological, and attachment-focused understanding of ADD, particularly those who identify with the idea of developmental trauma or emotional attunement as root causes. For these readers, it can be a transformative experience, offering validation, self-awareness, and new pathways for personal and familial healing. However, it is not recommended for those seeking a strictly scientific, evidence-based account of ADHD, or for parents who may be sensitive to theories that attribute the condition primarily to parenting styles or early childhood environments. Readers should approach this book with an awareness of its controversial nature and its strong emphasis on psychological and relational factors, rather than a purely biological or genetic perspective.
