Positives The book is widely praised as an excellent non-fiction guide, particularly for its holistic approach to understanding women's anatomy and psychology. Reviewers highlight the author's genuine care for women's pleasure, presenting a strong case for its prioritization in sexual encounters. Many found the book to be a well-thought-out work that avoids the "cheesy" or pornographic tone of other sex manuals, instead offering a down-to-earth and easy-to-understand writing style. Its use of simple line drawings and brief chapters with quick reviews is noted as conducive to learning. Readers, both men and women, reported learning new and effective techniques, with some women even discovering previously unknown aspects of their own bodies. The book's intention to empower women by providing clear information on their sexual response and how to achieve pleasure is also a recurring positive theme.
Negatives Despite its strengths, the book draws criticism for several aspects. A common complaint is its somewhat prescriptive, "one-size-fits-all" approach to sexual pleasure, particularly its strong focus on oral techniques as the primary, and sometimes seemingly only, path to female orgasm. Reviewers note that this can overlook individual preferences and the importance of direct communication between partners. The author's frequent use of literary analogies and attempts at humor are often described as pretentious or overdone, detracting from the clarity of the instruction. Some found the detailed, routine-based instructions to be overly mechanical or even "bonkers," with specific timings and sequences that might not suit every woman or situation. Concerns were also raised about the book's perceived lack of emphasis on explicit verbal consent, its potentially male-centered perspective, and its tendency to generalize women's experiences rather than promoting personalized discovery.
Conclusion Overall, "She Comes First" is seen as a valuable resource, particularly for men who are genuinely interested in improving their ability to pleasure women and fostering a more fulfilling sexual relationship. It is recommended for those new to understanding female sexuality or who may hold misconceptions derived from popular culture. Women, too, can benefit from reading it to better understand their own bodies and confidently communicate their desires to partners. However, readers should approach the book with an open mind, recognizing that while it offers a strong foundation and practical techniques, it may overemphasize a singular method and could benefit from greater integration of direct communication and individual variability. It is best suited for heterosexual couples seeking practical guidance on female pleasure, with the understanding that personal preferences and ongoing dialogue remain paramount.
