Stay True

Reviewers widely praise the memoir for its heartfelt and immersive portrayal of a profound college friendship, particularly between two Asian American men. Many found the writing to be of high quality, flowing well and offering lyrical descriptions that create a strong sense of time and place, especially for those familiar with 1990s culture and the Berkeley area. The book is lauded for its emotional honesty, capturing the everyday intimacies of friendship, the complexities of youth, and the journey of self-definition without resorting to melodrama. Readers appreciated how the author explores grief in a deeply personal way, making the book a poignant and meaningful tribute that reminds them to cherish loved ones. Specific elements like the author's father's faxes, with their endearing "What do you think?" sign-offs, were frequently highlighted as touching and memorable. The memoir is seen as providing astute observations on Asian American identity, moving beyond common stereotypes.

Conversely, a significant number of reviewers found the book to be a difficult and often frustrating read. Common criticisms include the author's perceived self-absorption, which some felt detracted from meaningful engagement with the narrative. Several readers expressed that the friend central to the memoir felt underdeveloped, appearing more as a "passerby" than a fully fleshed-out character, making it hard to connect with the friendship's intensity. The book's structure was described as meandering or fragmented, with some questioning its overall purpose, whether it was an immigrant story, a 90s nostalgia piece, or a reflection on grief. Critics also found the writing style to be boring or "this happened then this happened," with excessive detail about college life and musical tastes that didn't always contribute to a larger picture. The author's youthful persona was sometimes seen as pretentious, snobbish, or exhibiting "Not Like Other Guys" vibes, leading to a lack of empathy for some readers.

Ultimately, this memoir is a polarizing read, lauded by many as a beautiful and unforgettable exploration of youth, friendship, identity, and tragic loss, while others found it underwhelming or even boring. Despite its award-winning status, its reception is sharply divided. The book is most likely to resonate with readers who appreciate immersive, contained memoirs that delve deeply into the author's personal experience and psychological landscape. It particularly appeals to those who grew up in the 1990s, especially in the Berkeley or Bay Area, and can connect with the cultural references, music, and DIY aesthetic of that era. Readers interested in nuanced portrayals of Asian American identity and male friendships, as well as those who don't mind a narrative that reflects the often-meandering nature of grief and memory, are also likely to find this memoir compelling.